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Questions to Which the Answer is No! Page 7


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  INDEX OF QUESTIONS/HEADLINES

  A new dawn for democracy? • 27

  A study is being used to support the theory many educated, middle-aged left-wingers are in fact conservatives who can’t admit it. Is this true? • 68

  Are aliens getting less camera shy? • 119

  Are Cameron and Clegg cracking up? • 111

  Are ‘close friends’ Harry and Pippa on the verge of becoming an item? o 118 Are dads the new moms? • 143

  Are footballers rational? • 58

  Are indie movies getting too pretty? • 143

  Are our judges on drugs? • 99

  Are Prince’s nuptials being used as cover for a crackdown on dissent? • 98

  Are the 2012 Olympics part of a plot to take over the world? • 82

  Are the BBC/ITN/Sky about to have egg on their faces? • 55

  Are the Queensland floods the result of Kevin Rudd speaking against Israel? • 84

  Are there any lengths to which Julian Assange will not go to slag off America and compromise the security of the West? • 78

  Are there any more Questions to Which the Answer is No in this book? • 149

  Are US government microwave mind-control tests causing TV presenters’ brains to melt down? • 101

  Are video games just propaganda and training tools for the military? • 140

  Are we heading for another 1968? • 42

  Are we witnessing the madness of Tony Blair? • 24

  At present, the UK uses the ‘first past the post’ system to elect MPs to the House of Commons. Should the ‘alternative vote’ system be used instead? • 110

  Baghdad spa offers fish pedicures: are luxury treatments the newest sign of progress? • 147

  Ballet is dying, warns Sadler’s Wells chief (Should ballet be subsidised if no one wants to go?) • 102

  Bo: Political liability? • 148

  Books, the new Prozac? • 105

  Brian Haw: a hero for out times? • 118

  Can Britain ever learn to love Europe? • 126

  Can complexity theory explain Egypt’s crisis? • 87

  Can localism deliver minerals? • 76

  Can Mary Portas kick-start the clothing industry by manufacturing a British pair of knickers? • 139

  Can people spontaneously combust? • 129

  Can this man cure cancer with his bare hands? • 34

  Can Twitter predict the election outcome? • 48

  Can we use Twitter to break the Political-Nerd Ghetto? • 23

  Can your dreams predict the future? • 90

  Could a group of like-minded citizens running for election for one term only, bring about the change career politicians can’t (or won’t)? • 132

  Could a wristband be the answer to dieters’ prayers? • 123

  Could Angelina Jolie be the first female US President? • 29

  Could Boris be back in the Commons by Christmas? • 137
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br />   Could cycling become the UK’s second-favourite sport? • 128

  Could Diane Abbott be this year’s 50/1 winner? • 59

  Could Helmand be the Dubai of Afghanistan? • 47

  Could London declare independence and leave UK? • 116

  Could London lose the Olympics? • 124

  Could Lord Mandelson become Prime Minister? • 29

  Could scientists be on the verge of inventing a Dr Who-style sonic screwdriver? • 81

  Could Spider-Man become a reality? • 135

  Could the euro crisis tip Europe into warfare? • 127

  Could the Lib Dems win outright? • 54

  Could your saucepans bring on the menopause? • 96

  Des smartphones bientôt équipés d’airbags? • 124

  Did a gluten-free diet make Novak Djokovic the best tennis player in the world? • 113

  Did aliens establish a primitive postcode system in ancient Britain? • 109

  Did Archimedes set fire to a Roman fleet using only mirrors and the rays of the sun? • 82

  Did Blair betray Britain for years in his bid to become EU president? • 35

  Did Cameron tell Green to let the ball in deliberately? • 62

  Did China or Jihadists try to bankrupt America? • 91

  Did Churchill and Eisenhower cover up UFO encounter? • 71

  Did climate change make Cameron PM? • 69

  Did Darling tell Brown to go? • 39

  Did Diana die so that the arms trade could continue its murderous jamborees? • 32

  Did global warming help bring down Air France flight 447? • 28

  Did Hitler father a lovechild? • 137

  Did Hitler live to old age here in Argentina? • 138

  Did Jesus foresee the US Constitution? • 145

  Did life on Earth originate from zombie microbes? • 145

  Did Marlene Dietrich plot to murder Hitler? • 106

  Did MI6 agent kill spy in bag? • 141

  Did ‘Mummy’s Curse’ kill Egyptian looters? • 92

  Did Republicans deliberately crash the US economy? • 147

  Did Riverdance make Ireland sexiest country in Europe? • 49

  Did the Moon sink the Titanic? • 138

  Did Tories spur petrol panic to avoid recession? • 141

  Did US secret weapons cause Japan’s earthquake and tsunami? • 125

  Do any of us understand the modern world? • 86

  Do green products make us better people? • 45

  Do we have Ahmadinejad all wrong? • 84

  Do you ever think the Questions to Which the Answer is No joke might be getting stale? • 70

  Do you have a poltergeist? • 100

  Doctor Who – a threat to the political and social order? • 105

  Does anyone else miss Gordon? • 97

  Does it matter what David Cameron wears to the royal wedding? • 108

  Does Obama have it in for Britain? • 38

  Does the death of 200 cows in Wisconsin confirm biblical prophecy? • 85

  Does the demise of Steve Jobs spell the end of the West? • 131

  Does the gunslinger that draws first die in real life? • 40

  Does the Pentagon have the right weapons to fight off an alien invasion? • 146

  Does Tony Blair run Israel? • 28

  Has an epidemic of narcissism made women delusional? • 103

  Has anyone ever said something like, ‘I opposed the US-led invasion of Afghanistan, I still think it was wrong, but I do recognise it made it possible for millions of Afghan girls to go to school’? • 32

  Has Belfast film-maker found time travel evidence? • 74

  Has Marilyn Monroe been reincarnated as a shop assistant called Chris? • 79

  Has Noah’s Ark been found on Turkish mountaintop? • 54

  Has Osama Bin Laden been dead for seven years? • 33

  Has the BBC got a grudge against the Goodies? • 75

  Has Western capitalism failed? • 128

  Has Wikipedia been overrun by left-wing trolls and junk historians? • 64

  Have MP3s killed the art of whistling? • 93

  Have the Tories fallen victim to the Lib Dem Hug of Death? • 62

  Have you won £13m? • 37

  He’s the outcast bishop who denies the Holocaust – yet has been welcomed back by the Pope. But are Bishop Williamson’s repugnant views the result of a festering grudge against Marks & Spencer? • 21

  I’m reluctant to bring this up again, but is there a relationship between the decline of smoking (pondering things with a cigar) and the decline of profits at JP Morgan on smoke- free Wall Street? • 144

  Iran’s new hairstyles: are they a peace-offering to the West? • 67

  Is a super-volcano just 390 miles from London about to erupt? • 134

  Is an alien invasion imminent? • 128

  Is Cameron leading us to a Big Society gay wedding in Westminster Abbey? • 90

  Is Cherie about to go raving? • 55

  Is David Cameron comparable to Robert Mugabe? • 61

  Is David Cameron eclipsing Barack Obama as a world leader? • 91

  Is David Cameron such a blindingly brilliant, gorgeous, lovely, magnificent, visionary, fragrant Prime Minister that he makes Winston Churchill and Margaret Thatcher look like invisible cockroach pigmies of so little consequence I can’t even begin to find a metaphor for their utter relative inconsequentiality when compared with this mighty Corialanus-meets-Julius-Caesar colossus of superlative magnificence? • 112

  Is David Cameron the most Europhile Prime Minister since Edward Heath? • 116

  Is Ed Miliband Labour’s RolfHarris in disguise? • 77

  Is Ed Miliband the new Clem Attlee? • 123

  Is France on the brink of a violent civil war? • 98

  Is God speaking to us through our wild weather? • 121

  Is Gordon Brown insane? • 24

  Is Israel targeting Palestinians in Gaza by distributing libido-increasing chewing gum? • 30

  Is it time to give this disloyal, pro-Europe old bruiser the boot? • 89

  Is J. K. Rowling a secret Tory? • 52

  Is John Rentoul a closet Tory? • 95

  Is my dead cat OK? • 143

  Is Obama already a war criminal? • 88

  Is organic donkey milk the next big thing? • 85

  Is Osama bin Laden in Chicago? • 100

  Is science the new rock and roll? • 51

  Is sugar toxic? • 107

  Is Sunday School the root of all evil? • 104

  Is the answer to this question ‘No’? • 80

  Is the British middle class an endangered species? • 69

  Is the Communist Party of China behind the Tea Party? • 125

  Is the financial sector bad for Britain? • 103

  Is the Japanese earthquake the latest natural disaster to have been caused by a ‘supermoon’? • 93

  Is the Loch Ness monster on Google Earth? • 31

  Is the net closing in on presidential businessman Tony Blair? • 65

  Is the obsession with ‘Climate Change’ turning out to be the most costly scientific blunder in history? • 34

  Is the Sustainable Communities Act the most important legislation since 2000? • 83

  Is the Tory lead really just three points? • 43

  Is the Turin Shroud genuine after all? • 25

  Is the world’s largest super-volcano set to erupt for the first time in 600,000 years, wiping out two-thirds of the US? • 86

  Is there a sinister Labour plot to stop British troops voting in the election? • 46

  Is there now no area of our lives that the Nanny State won’t poke its nose into? • 48

  Is this a secret space station on Mars? • 115

  Is this a squadron of UFOs flying over California? • 114

  Is this an alien spacecraft parked next to Mercury? • 131

  Is this an X-ray of Hitler’s head? • 26
/>   Is this Atlantis? • 22

  Is this Bigfoot? • 96

  Is this Britain’s worst family? • 127

  Is this cat really psychic? • 40

  Is this finally proof the Yeti exists? • 130

  Is this life on Venus? • 135

  Is this penguin a communist? • 122

  Is this the best of British? • 121

  Is this the Monster of Lake Windermere? • 89

  Is this the most aggressively atheistic government in Britain’s history? • 139

  Is this the most dangerous man in Britain? • 57

  Is this the most effective poster yet? • 51

  Is this the world’s first gay caveman? • 102

  Is time up for Doctor Who? • 130

  Is Tony Blair a Mossad agent? • 50

  Is Tony Blair about to make the most remarkable political comeback since Winston Churchill? • 36

  Is Tony Blair became a ‘Reptilian’? • 136

  Is TV too gay? • 110

  Is US now on slippery slope to tyranny? • 64

  Is veganism the ideological glue to bring together movements for social change? • 117

  Is Wikileaks a front for the CIA or Mossad? • 78

  Is your font racist? • 148

  Is your shampoo making you fat? • 120

  Labour wouldn’t be making us panic about al-Qa’ida ahead of an election. Would it? • 47

  Libya: Europe’s Vietnam? • 94

  Mandelson: the real PM? • 76

  Miss me yet? • 41

  National healthcare: Breeding ground for terror? • 25

  Nick Clegg – the British Obama? • 53

  OK, so maybe we shouldn’t call it the EUSSR. How about Euroslavia? • 35

  One Direction bigger than the Beatles? • 140

  Recurrent spontaneous anomalous physical events suggestive of poltergeist activity: Evidence for discarnate agency? • 133

  Researchers say gender-bending chemicals are rife. Are they just the tip of the iceberg? • 49

  Scientist accused of playing God after creating artificial life by making designer microbe from scratch – but could it wipe out humanity? • 60

  Should we clone Neanderthals? • 119

  Should Zsa Zsa Gabor become a new mom at age 94? • 104

  So, is Madonna still in love with Sean Penn? • 23

  The ’90s – best decade for music ever? • 144

  The beginning of the end? • 24

  The destruction of Pompeii – God’s revenge? • 66